Our second mini-series is on emotional well-being, and this series delves into the emotional aspect of wellness. It will embark you on a journey of self-development, and force you to become more self-aware. This week's edit is no exception!
I will be honest, this isn’t going to be a quick fix, and it certainly isn’t going to be an easy edit for some. Some of you will have pain so devastating and deep-rooted, that the thought might even make you feel angry. I want you to know it’s ok! It’s ok to feel the way you feel! These edits are there for you to pick and choose, and find the right techniques that work for you. Go at your own pace, but at least give in consideration, if not for now, then for the future.
We have all been wronged at one time or another, and for most of us, we hold onto that pain and anger towards the person who wronged us. But what if we learned to forgive? Forgiving others for their wrongs releases the burden of resentment that weighs down the body and mind. It frees up energy that can be spent working on your hopes and dreams in life, and it helps release the build-up of the toxic energy you harbour.
Here’s an exercise that can help you on your path to forgiveness. As I mentioned it’s not a quick fix, so you will need to be mindful that this will require time and regular practice.
1. Make a list of all the people who hurt you, and who you still hold anger towards.
2. Then put them in order of who pained you the least, working your way down to the most.
3. Write down how this person negatively affected your life. Think about the mental and physical harm it caused. Accept the feelings it caused and that it was not ok.
Write down what meaning or purpose you feel the wrongdoing has shown you. What good has come from it? Have you grown as a person? Did you get a new job? Write down the positives that have since come from that wrongdoing. Do not focus on the negatives!
4. When you are ready make the decision to forgive. Consider how you will forgive them. Offer them kindness, and respect. Remember, you might not forget what happened, or be able to excuse them for their actions, you don’t even have to reconcile with them. But consider giving them a smile in the street, return a call, say a good word about them, or write in a journal about why you forgive them.
5. Be aware of any slight changes in how you feel about that person. If you feel softer about them, then congratulations, you are on your way to forgiveness! Remember, if you see that person, do not throw that pain back onto them, or others around you who were not a part of the wrongdoing. Keep doing this until you truly forgive, and then move onto the next person on your list.
So, can you learn to forgive? Absolutely, but it’s ongoing and you need to go at your own pace.
Happy self-care Sunday everyone!